24

If turning from 18 to 19 is crossing the transition between paragraphs, then turning from 23 to 24 is like flipping a page in the book of life. At this stage of life, every year counts. Merely one year could have brought me so far off from where I was at 23. I still remember how frustrated I was a year ago sitting at a restaurant and had no idea at all about life.

I have been on my own and have no need to report my grades to anyone. This year seemed okay from outside of the shell but actually a lot had happened. I learned to take care of my heart. I learned to speak up for what I stand for. I learned to keep my pace when people around me start to speed up. I learned to spend money from my own bank account. I learned to lose the interest of getting buzzed. I learned to not care about going to a social event which doesn’t have much space for any relationships to improve. I learned to jump start a car. I learned to relocate the living places. I learned to travel light. I learned to read the map and drive for more than 22 hours. I learned to communicate with sad families who have deceased children. I learned to trust God.

People now love to ask me about my plans for life. (Maybe they have nothing else to ask. Who knows?) They often say: “Grace, after this, then what?” However I am now comfortable and confident to answer them with a “Then whatever.” That’s true! Then whatever God brings me to. I trust He has best plans for me. A year ago I have such a firm mind wanting to move back to Taiwan, but now I’m at peace to go anywhere God wants me to go, even the places I never thought I would go.

Abuelo's

23 to 24. I learned to move forward but at the meanwhile I also started to accept some facts that I used to dislike. It’s okay to be your true self with no shame. It’s okay not to explain details to acquaintances and not to justify your every feeling. It’s okay that some people will just never understand why you this and that and you really don’t have to make known to them about things under your skin. It’s okay to let some relationships run their course. It’s okay that people change and you don’t recognize them anymore. It’s okay to tear but it’s also okay to have nothing to cry about and simply let go. It’s okay if there’s a mental fistfight. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to not feel guilty. It’s okay not to move on and stay where you physically at.

I didn’t become negative on seeing things. In fact, I used to hold fast to things more than I should have and ended up getting myself stuck in nothing and lost the point. I learned to let go and therefore I was able to catch more opportunities on things than when I was 23. Being calm doesn’t mean to give up energy and hope.

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Here are the beautiful lights hung at Evelyn’s patio for summer! They surprised me with a real surprise last night, and Jesse said: “You were born, and you make friends, and your friends celebrate your birthday.” I feel loved and spoiled by them. How lucky I am to have friends who spoil me.

It’s weird but amazing that I feel young turning 24. Let’s be open-minded and try new things out! We just about to start our life with frustrations left behind. It’s still wonderful when the path is not clear yet because I know time is on our side.

P.S. Happy Birthday to my dear Ya-Chen Jane, too! Celebrating with you is one of the best things every year.

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2 thoughts on “24”

  1. 惡魔慧慧打了這麼長的英文害我看了好久!
    讀到最後一句立刻一秒落淚(真的!) 每年都有你在我真是太幸福了
    雖然我還是一直對未來覺得害怕又無助一點自信也沒有
    也總是留戀那些逝去的關係 不明白自己為什麼一直把事情搞砸
    不過那又怎麼樣呢?越想越煩真是煩死了
    我想我還是只好繼續摸索著往下走了
    能自己決定的事情就勇敢去做 不能自己決定的就交給神
    反正無法預料 走到哪裡都好
    無論到哪裡你都是我安定的力量 愛你 啾咪 :-*

    1. 有些時候太直白的話用最熟悉的語言竟然會感到不好意思
      於是這篇就生成英文了
      然後你竟然看完了
      讓我感動得不像話

      其實回頭看我才覺得發生的每一件事能走過來都是奇蹟
      也真是很多很多的恩典
      不然真的不知道該怎麼辦
      祝我們都能越走腳程越堅強

      有你在真好
      知道你不喜歡看一大段所以我每一句都換一行喔
      啾啾啾我也愛你x-)

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